I held my tuxedo longhair cat, Elf – who I rescued as a stray – for the first time when he was 10 years old. And it happened because he was dying in my arms.
Yes, you read that right. Only with her imminent death, and the Elf so sad, would that stubborn cat allow me to hold her.
Elf is what I call a semiferal cat: completely absent and able to live an indoor domestic life, but restless and wanting people to stay away. Elf lived the life of a house pet well, and was not openly hostile or aggressive towards people. But, this handsome cat with a thick, long mane was very scared, anxious, stubborn, and shy. Elf seemed to be a normal pet cat and would sometimes sit on the couch with me, or sometimes sleep under my bed. But I couldn’t go to him, let alone try to handle him. He would run away, and attack if I cornered him.
So how did I get a cat like this? However, I’m a long-time rescuer and stepmom, and it’s an occupational hazard – and I have no regrets about accepting it.
A Pair of Lost Brothers
I rescued Elf and his brother, Kringle – two fluffy kittens, the latter a long-haired orange tabby – from a nearby factory around Christmas time in 2015 (hence the name yuletide). I don’t know where these stray animals came from, but they were stuck in the cold cement and needed somewhere to go quickly. I brought both brothers home to live in foster care at my home, and I intended to raise them with a rescue group when they were ready.
Kringle warmed to me quickly and was very sweet. He was ready. But Elf wasn’t there – and, I later realized, he probably wouldn’t be ready to be adopted. Elf stubbornly clung to his instincts and refused to socialize with humans. The kitten would give me the stink eye, and bark at me when I tried to hold it. We tried offering littermates as a caged pair in a PetSmart cage, but it didn’t go well.
Unless a miracle happened, the Elf was unacceptable. What now?
This presented a real rescue problem: Do we try to keep the brothers together and hope that someone is willing to adopt the small and sweet cat? Do we separate them and find a home for Kringle? And if we did that, what would we do with this kitten in the middle?
Sadly, but usually, the only thing you can do for a white cat that can’t be socialized and adopted is to have the animal fixed so that it can’t breed, and then release the cat to live outside as a stray – that is, if you can’t find someone with a barn who can use the cat as a rat and provide it with food and shelter.
But, as difficult as it seemed, I knew there was a third option. In my heart, I knew there was no way I could throw this cat into a life of hardship. I just couldn’t do it; my heart would not allow me, and I would feel tormented every day by thinking how the poor kitten was doing, while his littermate was free inside and missed him.
There was only one thing I could do: undertake to take both brothers, even though one of them did not like me very much and probably never would. I would have a loving cat in Kringle – and Elf, I would give him a minimum of shelter, food, water and litter. I had him shot and his cat shot, of course, but putting this cat in a carrier was terrible. I knew I’d be in big trouble if Elf ever got sick – and thankfully, he stayed a whole decade without getting sick. He even did it.
Semiferal but Domestic
Although Elf never fell to the level of being a lovable cat, he did make some progress over the years. He was a funny, playful cat, and fun to watch. It was fun when the Elf messed up the Christmas tree a few years ago, and the ball ornament was attached to the tip of his gray tail. Elf wandered around the house carelessly with this dangling ball attached to his tail, and it was very funny. She even fell in love with my pet, Amanda, who despite not being able to handle her much, lovingly called Elf her “BFF”.
Over the past few years, I’ve had these precious, spontaneous moments where an Elf would come up to me for pets and a scratch on his head – and I even heard a soft purr a few times! Awww! But, those moments were completely in line with Elf’s goals and lasted more than a few minutes. Then, he had returned to his mysterious, terrifying, and thoughtless ways.
Sadly, Elf’s illness – which started showing symptoms in December and became serious in late January – could have been cured if he had been a companion cat, but it would have involved the usual transport in a carrier to the vet, poking and pulling, therapy, etc. That’s simply not possible with a cat like an Elf; I have a bad scar on my hand, from the night of his murder, to show this. Also, he had had a nose dive in the last two months or so, so I knew that Elf was sad and not really alive. He was just there.
There was only one option that made sense to Elf and me, as it was: euthanasia.
The Rainbow Bridge
The vet brought him to the euthanasia room where I was waiting on the couch. He placed “Elfie,” wrapped in a blanket, in my arms, where he was laid to rest as a baby.
For the first time, I held this irrepressible cat without resistance and stroked his long, silky fur – which looked surprisingly good, despite never having been brushed. I enjoyed every minute.
“One day, I’ll see you at the Rainbow Bridge, and I’ll catch you,” I told Elf through tears. “And you will let me!”
I almost expected him to wake up and give me the stink eye and a swat again! But, my Elf was gone.
I can honestly say that I do not regret giving this cat a home; the rest was unthinkable. Elf still brought joy to my home and life, despite his problems, and he loved his brother Kringle. And even though he wouldn’t admit it, I think that deep down, Elf loved me just a little bit, too.
May my sweet fragrance rest in peace.
Why You Should Take “The Elf”
Elf was a tough cat, yes. But in many ways, she was the easiest cat to take care of that I ever had, because she was very malnourished. He rarely wanted attention from me; I just provided shelter and food and water. And he didn’t charge me money for veterinary care – usually, the most expensive part of raising a cat – because taking him to the vet would be impossible. I knew he would have to be very sick to justify trying that – and finally, I got Elf there because he was dying and weak. Even then, because I had to jump at the chance before he broke away and hid, I didn’t have a chance to put on my thick gloves, and I was still badly bitten.
But, all things considered, I have absolutely no regrets about keeping Elf and saving him a life of hardship and loneliness in the cold, heat, snow and rain. My conscience and my heart would be gnawing at me every day, I worry about that poor cat who is on his own, losing his brother who was safe between me and me.
An Elf can apparently survive as a house pet; I just knew I had to accept him for who he was and where he was, and not look at Elf with the love he didn’t want to give. I let Elf be Elf and gave her life on her terms, and I looked to my other cats for companionship and love. Then, during those rare times over the past few years when Elf wanted pets and head scratches, I would appreciate it and let him run when he was ready.
I hope that if you encounter a similar situation one day – a small cat or a cat that can’t live comfortably in the house, but otherwise wants you to keep your distance – you will step up and save the furbaby from suffering. And if the cat behaves terribly and can’t live an indoor life, you can still help the cat a lot – like I did with Tommy, an abandoned and aggressive cat that I adapted to a small outdoor space.
Cats stray even among small people because of people who don’t care, and it’s not their fault. They are still precious cats who deserve to live as comfortably as possible. Please do whatever you can to help someone who may cross your path!