Downsizing can be difficult, but it can also be a relief. Last month we moved my cat “to help make a living.” That’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. Hear me. This is about people and their stories of depopulation.
Please know that I do not take things lightly when making decisions with an elderly relative or adopt them, including assisted living. In fact, my family recently went through it with a relative. The experience involved all the classic aspects of aging, such as staying in the hospital, selling the home when they couldn’t attend, and packing, moving, and storing everything. It feels overwhelming when you go through it. But you are not alone.
My sweet Nina is sixteen years old now. You never know the age of a rescue cat. He has been a loving part of our family for almost nine years. He lost his hearing early during the epidemic, but before that he was a cello enthusiast. Last year he became completely blind. If you know cats, it won’t surprise you that he has continued his habits. Breakfast at 7 am on the dot. In the morning in a basket on some sunny window. Sleep until 3:30 pm. In the evening it helps me study. We recently got him to wear a sweater, because he’s not five pounds yet and he’s always cold.
Signs Your Elderly Family Member Needs Help
When he started having trouble finding and climbing the stairs to the litter box, I knew changes had to be made, I didn’t want to make his world smaller, but his world was no longer safe. He gets stuck in corners, going around in circles. You lose energy easily. I had to reframe my thinking to keep him sane. I could see that he now craved security and comfort more.
The solution that caused me weeks of anxiety was surprisingly simple. Even though I was worried about making her unhappy, we were both happier from the first day we moved my cat into “assisted living.”
When I write “cat,” think of your mother, father, or an elderly relative in their place.
Precautions for Safety and Comfort
I raised the baby gate, and locked Nina in one room. He doesn’t always cry to be kicked out. He just knows the door is “closed,” but I still have his eyes on him.
Her timer heated cat bed (affiliate links) is her new headquarters. He likes to curl up tight, so I roll up the baby blanket to fill the extra space. We often hang out and associate with him. Keeping a green cat is cheap therapy.
He always has food and water in the attached bathroom, so that wasn’t a change for him. Cats love moving water, and her cat fountain is one of Nina’s favorites. The one we bought seems to be broken, and if I buy a new one, it will be stainless steel, as they are always clean. This same cat fountain is currently the top seller on Amazon.
Before you judge the litter box I moved into my bedroom, with a waterproof gourd underneath, think about what you would like to do to make life easier for an elderly relative. It takes a bit of maintenance as I sweep the floor every day, but it’s easy to reach him, just steps from his bed. We switched to PrettyLitter years ago, and it’s always clean, odor-free and dust-free. Here is the referral link if you want to try PrettyLitter. There are different ways to hide the litter box, but I don’t want to make it difficult for him. Some things you do for those you love.
At first, he didn’t use a set of pet stairs (from FiveBelow) at the end of the bed. But now she uses them to get out of bed safely. Apparently the springs in his back feet are fine, as he still likes to jump on the ottoman. Did I mention that cats (and people) are stubborn?
Even though he is confined to one room, I bring him downstairs so he can be with the family most nights for dinner and movies. She looks like a sweet baby, while she is a really crazy old lady and often goes back upstairs to sleep just a few minutes before us. He reminds me of my grandfather, who always drove his own car to family events so he could go whenever the opportunity arose. And really, wouldn’t you want to go back to a heated cat bed if you had one?
Consequences of Moving to Assisted Living
Pets don’t live as long as we want them to. I am afraid that my dear Nina will not stay with us much longer. I’ve never confined a cat to the same room, but life is easier for all of us now that we’ve moved her into her own little assisted living apartment.
Moving to Assisted Living
Because he is a cat, this transition was easier than it would have been for mom or dad. Obviously, he doesn’t have all the things that grown children are left with when a parent downsizes. But sometimes, making their world small, safe, and predictable is a really good thing. Even if it takes time. Even if it takes negotiation.
Maybe you are responsible for your downfall. Will you be as kind to yourself as you would be to your beloved pet?
There is a lot more information about depopulation on my site. You can start here with 10 Steps to Staging for Beginners, or search for downgrading, staging or moving under the search menu in the upper right corner.
It’s hard to make big decisions as a caregiver, and it’s not always easy to know what to do. Breaking down the issue of downsizing can help you clearly see the best way forward in a difficult situation.
If reading about an old cat helped you to organize a conversation with yourself or your elderly family members, or if you have a similar story, please leave a comment on the blog? Thank you.
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